Yes, you read the title right. And yes, what you are thinking and starting to laugh about right now is correct:
I fell into the toilet bowl the other morning... all the way down into the bowl, where my butt touched the bottom of the bowl.
I know, it's hysterical, and yah, I sound like a complete and total idiot. However! This was not my fault, or not entirely my fault.
So, Dylan puts neither the toilet lid nor the toilet seat back down. I find this truly annoying and somewhat gross. I have been trying for the past 5 years now to at least get him to put the seat back down!! For a while, he was doing a good job but then we moved into the apartment where we had separate bathrooms with separate toilets and well, that good habit quickly disappeared. We now have separate sinks and counter tops, but share a toilet in the new house.
I don't understand why it is hard to put the seat back down once you finish, specially since you know you live with a GIRL who requires the seat down for everything. When I explain this to him, he cites all other manner of things he could do but does not, such as "pee on the seat"... yah, yah yah. You should have fixed that problem a LONG time ago buddy.
I also think not putting the lid back down is weird too, and kind of gross when you walk into the bathroom and can already see the toilet bowl. I mean, what if something did not get flushed all the way??!! Specially if you are in someone else's house??!! It is one thing to deal with your own personal waste and that of your spouse, kids or pet but to deal with someone else's garbage, for lack of a better word, is JUST GROSS. Plus, they make cute lid covers that can match the décor of your bathroom, so there is a purpose to putting the lid down. That way you walk in and see the pretty lid cover, not the ugly toilet bowl!!!
Apparently I grew up in a weird house because no one else I know puts the seat down. Every other guy or even girl I talked with about this issue laughed when I said to put the lid down. But I can honestly say that in my house growing up, my brother and dad put the seat and lid down.
But... I digress. So anyways, Dylan left the house before me the other day and put neither the seat nor the lid down. Thank goodness he flushed, let's just say that. The alarm went off, and it was just one of those mornings where I could not shake sleep off. So as I'm stumbling to the bathroom because you just gotta pee when you first wake up, I did not even bother to look at the toilet. I just hit the light and sat down... hard... all the way into the bowl. I mean, there was no catching myself guys... No way! And let me tell ya, that toilet water is COLD on your butt at 6 am!!! I quickly woke up and could do nothing else but scream "Dylan", even though he was long gone to work and could not hear me.
It was not one of my better moments. I'm sure I was one of the classic, funny, ironic humor moments you see in the movies. I did not have a bruise, if you were wondering and yes, I now check the toilet ALL THE TIME because I'm paranoid about falling in... again.
Does he put the seat down now? No. Bottom line, lesson to be learned for my married people, soon to be married people and brothers/sisters...
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Pick your battles, ladies....