Happy New Year! The dreaded year of 2012 where the world was supposed to have it's ultimate demise, for all of you silly people who did not bother to closely learn or understand the true Mayan idea on death/the end, has come and gone and guess what?!
WE ARE STILL HERE.
That's okay; we still love those of you who got all bent out of shape about it. :)WE ARE STILL HERE.
But now, 2013 is upon us. Typically, I am not one of those people who makes "New Year's Resolutions" or "Looks Back" upon the previous year in order to be a better person for the new one. Most of the time I feel we are supposed to be constantly re-evaluating our lives each day, each month of the year, so what makes January so special, ya know? However, after the past 12 months, I do feel the need this year to reflect upon the hardest, biggest and best lesson I learned this past year.
Biggest lesson I have learned from 2012 is that STRESS is completely unnecessary and can ruin your life. Stress, as defined in the Webster's dictionary, has many meanings and ALL of them apply to my year of 2012:
1. Stress is: a constraining force or influence. The constraining influence and force which dominates more man hours than I spend with my family: Work. Scary things can happen at anybody's job; I know that. No one person is completely safe anymore in the USA once they step out their door in the morning, but the public schools, well, they seem to be a hot spot right now. Threats for shootings, threats for bombs, threats from parents to sue if you do not think their child is the greatest thing since sliced bread and give them all A's, threats from parents who could care less about their child and do not want you to bother them at work anymore about their kid, veiled theats from "the higher ups" if you have too many students fail (regardless of whether that is the actual grade they earned), veiled threats if the other adults you work with are not falling in-line with all the rules, threats on what happens if you do not run your classroom for full 50 minutes, making sure to complete each task and reach all 35 students every day.... I could write a novel about everything and still not reach the whole scope of how demanding and degrading the education system can make you feel.
2. Stress is: the deformation caused in a physical body by such a force. Whoa! Let me tell ya, my body offically caved this year. I am 26 years old and have never, ever broken a bone, suffered any strain or injury, never been to hospital for anything etc. and for those of you who know me, you know I work out like a maniac and push my body to the limits and have been doing so for years. As much as I'm a maniac though, Dylan and I have also become very health conscious. We are both very aware of what goes in our bodies and make sure we stay as healthy as possible. But this past year, I cannot tell you how many times I had to see a doctor. Chronic allergies ( I'm allerigc to 60 of the 64 allergens in the lower 48 states), mild migraines (brought on by stress and allergies), anxiety and nightmares ( brought on by stress), severe IBS- if you don't know the acronym, look it up. Not something I want to write out here... (brought on by stress) and vision strain (brought on by over-work and stress).
3. Stress is: a physical or emotional factor that causes bodily tension and may be a factor in causing diseases. Emotional factor... UM YAH! Try being a social worker to 190 students every day. Try sitting in hearings listening to their either deadbeat parents or parents who are younger than I am explain/defend/or just not care about their actions or watch the parents with money pay off the court. Try dealing with yet another group of students who got busted for drugs or alcohol and continue to repeat their offenses. Try writing CPS reports about students who get the energy and water turned on and off at their house because their parents use the money for drugs or they do not make enough or another sibling steals the money. Try writing CPS reports about abuse, both physical and mental. Try getting cussed out by students, realizing the entire time they are so desperate for your attention that they will do anything in order for you to listen. Try hearing over and over a child is perfect and can do no wrong from a parent who does not want to face the facts that their child has issues and needs help. I could go on and on and on and on and on.......
4. Stress is: A state of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend fo alter an equilibrium. Yes to both of those. My body is obviously rebelling against all of the stress, and my mind never shuts up or stops trying to deal with things.
5. Stress is: strain or pressure to the point of collapse Now, my whole heart and being belong to my Lord in Heaven, and I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle. But I also know the good Lord says to pay attention to what is around you, who and what you surround yourself with. God is there for me anytime I need, but each time I keep putting myself in the same situation, I'm sure He wants to just bang me on the head and say Listen up! Look around! Stop doing this!
So..... I stopped and listened. And I have found other doors with the potential to open, other pathways to walk. They are unknown, yes; but I feel a calm presence as I start down them. I feel God guiding me on this new change in life I decided upon in 2013. Thankfully, my family completely supports me. In fact, they have all been wondering why it took me so long to get here. hehe! Bless my Dylan! He probably wanted to hit me over the head every day for the past year too! Instead, he hugged and loved on me each time I broke down. Thank you, husband. Thank you, love of my life. Thank you for telling me it is okay to change and not giving up on me. Getting rid of my stress and the main thing that drives it is my biggest goal for 2013.
So I am excited about 2013! I m excited to turn my life around and not live under this heavy yoke. I am excited to learn how to live life free of self-inflicted stress and self-inflicted worry. And if you have any of these feelings as you read, please stop what you are doing and take a good, long look at your life. I know you cannot just stop immediately doing the thing which causes you stress. Trust me, if that were true, I would have stopped back in August! But, you can look to the future and truly work hard at figuring out another lifestyle, another way to be. :)
"Getting over a painful experience is like crossing the monkeybars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward." C.S. Lewis
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