"Ain't saying she's a gold-digger, but she ain't messin with no broke bro"

"Now I ain't saying you a gold-digger; you got needs. He got that ambition look in his eyes... This week he's moppin' floors, next week it's the fries so stick by his side.... Now I ain't sayin she's a gold-digger, but she ain't messin with no broke bro..."

         -Kayne West, Gold Digger-

The song is old-school, I know and terribly inappropriate but the incident today made me think of these lines.... My lunch is 5th period, a time when everyone should be in class and 95% of teachers are teaching. That being said, I have enjoyed a relatively quiet year devoid of lunch duty as I teach during both of the lunches. So 5th period started out quiet Wednesday afternoon around 12:30 as normal.... until I hear an incredibly loud, male voice scream "Give me my s*** back you f****** b****!" 

I sigh (extremely loud to myself) and get out of my chair, leaving my lunch uneaten to go deal with this "issue" in the hallway. The language btw, is par for the course where I work. As I walk into the hall, I observe a young girl fleeing into the bathroom and a small, sketchy, sketchy young man going right in after her. Now, this is a problem. A boy.... in the girl's bathroom. Not only a boy, but a boy who has murder in his eyes and is hell-bent on doing some damage. So I enter the bathroom to find 2 other young ladies pressed up against the wall with sheer looks of terror on their faces while the young man beats the crap out of the bathroom stall the young girl has locked herself in, continuing to scream the above-mentioned statement at her, over and over again. Did I mention he had murder in his eyes?! So, I put on my Grade-A Teacher B**** face and voice and tell him to get out of the bathroom N.O.W. (Side note, I was wearing a Kick-A outfit that day: cute black dress with bright red jacket over it and my cockroach killer black boots so I felt I looked powerful.. hehe!) 

Young man turns around to glare at me and then pushes past me to run out of the bathroom. I got a good look at him then, and he seriously creeped me out. Small height, small weight, buzzhead like they do for guys in prison, tattoos up and down his arms, piercings etc. Orange was this guy's color, let me tell ya! Plus, he had "the look." The Look, for me, encompasses having seen dead bodies, bought/sold drugs, hits women, possible physical harm done to another person and a mind that thinks all the time about how to do damage and cause harm etc. After viewing this young man, he would make the 4th young man that has given me these feelings. I always feel as if I need a shower after I encounter these guys. UGH!  

Anyways, I have to beg the girl to come out of the bathroom stall and when she does, the first thing she tells me is "He doesn't mean it," which just makes me sad because now I know for a fact he beats her. We are walking out of the bathroom because I have to take her to the office and handle this situation and the dude is WAITING FOR HER at the end of the hall. He looks at her and does a slicing motion with his hand across his neck and points at her. WHOA! Situation has just escalated and internally, I'm beginning to get a little nervous. I decide she is safer back in class and I will call an administrator for help. Thank God I run into our best Admin... let's call him Mr. D, in the hallway and I explain situation to him. Mr. D then tells me the young man is already wanted for cussing out a teacher and has been on the run for the past 20 minutes. Mr. D also tells me all of our other administrators and police officers are busy so he is going to need my help trying to find this guy. (This is also par for the course where I work- no Admins are ever around when you need them. I cannot count how many times I have gone looking for one, called for one during 5th period and no one is around.) 

I sigh again as I realize I am not going to eat my lunch and I'm going to waste my off-period looking for some twerp of a boy. Mr. D and I enlist the help of my department head, who also has 5th period off. So here the 3 of us go, splitting up in multiple directions, looking for this ONE BOY. I head back around to my room and the bathroom where this all started and HE IS BACK! Trying to peek in the girls bathroom, looking for his girl. I go into my room and call Mr. C (fellow teacher) to detain him while I call for Mr. D to come get this dude. Well, Mr. C tries to talk with our delinquent here, and the student wants nothing to do with anyone until he "gets his stuff back." The kid is becoming a truly annoying broken record here. Mr. C gets too close and the kid bolts... again. Mr. C goes after him and I wait to tell Mr. D he is on the loose again. Someone.. somewhere... finally catches this kid and brings him into the office. I get another call now to retrieve JEWELRY from the young girl who fled into the bathroom. Jewelry... JEWELRY... Are. You. Freakin. Kidding. Me?! And I know you are wondering about the jewelry. It was nothing special, trust me. The ring and necklace had already rusted in many places, which is sad, I know. 

He punched a bathroom stall and threatened the girl over jewelry??!! I don't even have words to express how pathetic this whole situation now is. I return to the classroom and ask the girl for the jewelry. She is crying by this point and says they broke up this morning and he wanted his stuff back he bought her, but she still loves him and does not want to give it back. I made her hand it to me, trying not to think about how stupid she is... trying to remember what is was like to be 15 and think you are in love and that you can change the boyfriend... trying to put myself in the Hispanic cultural mind-frame of relationships etc. As I'm walking away, she asks what will happen to him. He already has 2 probation officers. He assaulted a teacher, assaulted her, threatened her and it is all on camera. Oh, he is long gone girlie. Plus! He is a 19 year old freshman; they will try him as an adult. (Yes, those do exist. I even know of some 20 year old freshmen... scary huh to think of your sweet little 14 year old daughter going to school with GROWN MEN). She begins to cry even more, begging me if she can see him before he goes. Uh, seriously?! NO! 

I walk the jewelry up and give it to the young man who politely thanks me for returning his stuff. I'm getting ready to give him some smart-aleck reply when it dawns on me his bouncer-looking probation officer is sitting in the Admin's room with the kid- OF COURSE he is going to be nice to me. I leave and the bell rings for the next period. Sweet- I have not eaten, nor have I used the restroom, I am running on adrenaline high right now and I have 5 minutes to calm myself down and go teach class. The farther I walk, it occurs to me that anywhere from 4-6 people had to chase this kid around and deal with him. 6 people... for 1 kid- another example of how messed up society is today and where our hard-earned tax dollars are going. And I start laughing. The kind of hysterical laughter that sounds suspiciously close to a cry, but it's not. I manage to pull myself back together for the rest of the day. 4:05 bell rings and those Girl Scout cookies I bought earlier in the day and promised myself I was not going to eat until after dinner, yeah well, I busted those bad boys out and had me a little moment with the bliss of Samoa Girl Scout cookies- delicious combo of chocolate, hazelnut, cookie crackers and coconut all in one.  I mean, what else ya gonna do after a day like that?! 

Until the next time friends...