Carry on, Carry on....

A plethora of reasons why I have not posted in well... forever:

 

I have graded close to 4000 essays for my AP students this year. I finished my last DBQ today.

 

I have been lecturing or facilitating group work for over a month, 6 times a day.

 

I have been standing or walking around in high heels for 50 minute periods, 6 times a day for over a month.

 

I have been having dreams about my students not showing up for their AP exam. Dreams about students not writing anything down on the essay portion of the test. Dreams of students making faces as they bubble in the answer choices.

 

I have had dreams about students writing about other subjects besides World History. I have had dreams that I will forget the information I need to be reviewing- hence, I let them down.

 

I have had dreams that I did not teach the information long enough. I did not teach in enough detail. I did not cover everything- DUH! But, what I did not cover will be on the exam tomorrow and again, I will let them down.

 

I have been so frustrated at the students in class as I realize they are not studying enough, but I don't yell, because this is not their only class and not the only thing that matters in life.

 

I am beyond disgusted with the hypocritical nature of our school district and other more narrow areas of my job that give a different answer and a different goal every other day. We are teaching students... 15 year olds... minors.. children... flawed human beings... YOU CANNOT HAVE IT ALL.

 

I am just one person... who is not perfect... who is flawed... I CANNOT DO IT ALL. Yet, I get told every day to do all of those things and am reminded of the consequences of failure every day. Like it is a threat... well BOO YA! You come down and complete my job for a few days. I bet we have a very different conversation about stuff then.

 

My competitive nature is huge this year, and I'm not exactly for sure why. But the beast inside me has been struggling and strangling to get out lately. I have had to work very hard at taming her. This is my biggest group of AP kiddos yet. Believe it or not, they are my smartest group yet too. I see so much potential and great things for them, and I just want it so bad!!!

 

So... yeah. Tomorrow, the 16th, is THE DAY. Wish us luck....