"Felt like the world was on my shoulders. Should I break or retreat or return... Facing the fear that the truth that I discover... no telling how all these things will work out! But I've come too far to go back now...
I am looking for Freedom, looking for Freedom. And to find it, cost me everything I have. Well I am looking for Freedom, looking for Freedom. And to find it, may take everything I have.
I know all too well, it don't come easy. The chains of the world, they seem, to move in tight. I try to walk around if I'm stumbling so... trying to get up but the doubt is so strong. There's gotta be a winning in my bones.
I am looking for Freedom, looking for Freedom. And to find it, cost me everything I have. Well I am looking for Freedom, looking for Freedom. And to find it, may take everything I have.
Life hasn't been very kind to me lately. But I suppose it's a push for moving on. In time the sun's gonna shine on me nicely. Sudden tells me! Things are coming! And I ain't gonna not believe!
Well I am looking for Freedom, looking for Freedom. And to find it, cost me everything I have. I am looking for Freedom, looking for Freedom. And to find it, may take everything I have."
Have you seen the movie DJANGO UNCHAINED? If you say no, I understand. It is a Quentin Tarantino film, which means unnecessary and quite often, unspeakable violence. I just close my eyeballs when all the blood, shooting and stabbing goes down. And this film is pretty bloody... ranks right up there with PULP FICTION, maybe even a little worse. Along with the violence is the language, which is always bad in a Tarantino film; however, this is another period film. A deep South, pre-Civil War, slave film- get the picture? Oh! The racism is just awful; I mean, if you are taking the film as accurate for that time period and geographical location, then it does a very good job. But listening to that kind of vocabulary for 2 hours is rough! I almost started crying multiple times during the film because I could not believe people, either white or black, spoke to each other in that manner.
Yet, the realness and accuracy of the film is also why I enjoyed the movie so much. I give the man credit; he does not back away from the ugly truth about moments in history. (INGLORIOUS BASTERDS was the same way, and I absolutely love that movie.) I also enjoyed the movie for the actors; some of my favorite actors did phenomenal jobs in their roles. Christopher Waltz- ah! The man can do no wrong in my book, and yes, I realize he plays the same kind of role and person for the most part in all of his movies, but he is just sooo dang good at it! :) Pumped he won an Academy Award for his performance; plus, he pretended to be a dentist so he gets props in our household! hehe!
Anywho, the movie continues to impact me, and it has been many weeks since we saw the film. The soundtrack and the score are pretty stellar. The above song is one of my favorites. And Django's journey and problem in the movie has been very helpful and somewhat relatable of late. Django has one aim and goal: to find and hold onto the best thing he ever had in his life, his wife, BroomHilde. He will move heaven and hell to get her back. His faith is unshakeable, regardless of the obstacles that comes his way. (He has oooh so many too!) He has a friend and helper, but ultimately, Django has to complete the task. Translating into my life: work has been awful, and the next 2 weeks will continue to be that way until all of the testing is over with. Drama and issues with close friends/family have weighed my heart down lately as well. And to top it off, I feel the Devil is closer to me than he should be, and I just can't seem to shake him. The lyrics of the above song speak to me right now, especially the chorus.
"Looking for Freedom... to find it may take everything I have." I know it is going to take everything I have because Jesus provides me the ultimate freedom, but He expects everything I have in return. At times, that seems easy to do. Right now though, those "chains" seem to be closing in around me, and the challenge God has for me seems very hard to complete indeed. I envy the character Django because he never shakes; he never falters. And I am can't seem to stop shaking right now. To have that kind of resolve, all the time, 24/7- ah! It would be great! However, I am human and have flaws. So..... I'm going to continue to get up every morning, say my prayers and put one foot in front of the other. I have a strong, unwavering Saviour and a stalwart husband who walk beside me every day, giving me untold strength when I need it the most. So here's to Django, his BroomHilde and their Freedom!! May I find mine soon.......
"When there are clouds in the sky, and they are grey. You may be sad but remember... after the showers, is the sun. It will be shining...."
-Django Theme, Luis Bacalov-
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